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Breaking the Silence

Domestic violence! Where do we begin? How do we treat it? Women, of all races, are taught early on to keep secrets; and we’re good at it because we are nurturers and protectors by trait. A young teen becomes pregnant, she is sometimes whisked away to abort or sent away to protect [the family from public humiliation] – neither of which is emotionally or mentally sound, but only secures the roots of what is about to bloom into a full-grown tree of psychological massacre; emotional instability, and the negated ability to see “self” from a healthy perspective, giving fertile ground to manipulation and relinquished control.

Violence is no stranger to women, we have seen it in one form or another, portrayed in movies or trickled down from real-life experiences. A young woman raped by a family member is told to keep quiet, “Uncle So and So didn’t mean it, he’s sick.” A woman is beaten by her significant other; and asked by peers “Well, what did you do” [as if deserving or responsible for the lack of discipline and control of another’s actions]? Better yet, she is often advised to stay because “he’s a good man!” The most disturbing, “just keep him happy and do as he asks.” This is the anecdote? No! The beginning of an anecdote is breaking the silence, it can’t be healed if it’s not revealed – stop “secret” keeping – secrets kill, destroy and divide allowing you to be conquered by your perpetrator. Again, I say No! Instead, fight back with your greatest weapon, your voice!

Women, we take our self-worth and value too lightly. We have been manipulated into thinking if we don’t fit in by a certain stature or some false preconceived notion of we should be, we’re somehow operating outside of the social norm. Hence, we begin focusing our disparagement of non-acceptance on physical appearance; like maintaining a “dictated” body size at the cost of jeopardizing our health; being in the mainstream, speaking the language of everyone else, dumbing ourselves down just to “fit in.” Where did this come from, how did we get here? Forcing something to fit, to me, is a pretty clear indication that the square peg doesn’t belong in the circle. I am further convinced, a blind eye to uncorrected [childhood] behaviors lead to maladaptive adult behaviors leaving the neurological pathway to logic and healthy reasoning unmistakably obscured. This is why we must fight for and invest in our queens at an early age; inspire, encourage, empower them – teach them to love themselves. Let them know we all have flaws, but that don’t stop no rodeo. Instill in them at the onset of understanding that they are a masterpiece to be valued. The ole cliché says “it takes a village to raise a child.”

Mothers, if you are plagued by a familiar spirit (experience), rise up! Take back your control, become healthy; mind, body, and soul, advocate for and educate others, demonstrate strength to your daughters don’t lie down in the victory of defeat – Break the silence. Fathers, demonstrate respect, be the hero in your daughter’s lives. Love them, talk to them, educate them, hear them, and read between the lines of what is not being said. Teach your sons that it is not acceptable to call a woman (or any human being for that matter) outside of their name. Aunts, uncles, sisters, grandparents alike, speak up and speak out, if you see something, say something, take a stance for what is right! Women, stop referring to each other as the B-word. If you want to be one make sure it emulates a Beautiful.Intelligent.Talented.Creative.Human [B.I.T.C.H] being!

Ladies, let’s be more “revealing” in a positive manner – It starts by revealing the truth. The more the carriers, the quicker the power is received by the recipient in need.

Together, we can take back our VOICE!

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